when you are in a relationship, the person you are with might challenge you...
That's again the pain/pleasure dilemma. Someone can physically or emotionally hurt you.
Imagine... You are a woman. You are single and ok. You meet that guy. You like him. Very early he starts being possessive and demanding.
When someone does that they put you under pressure and use coercive power and threat to get you to do certain things.
Emotional threat! That's psychic pressure.
This is why after experiencing these patterns a few times, you might consciously or subconsciously decide to be single.
Because it feels safer!
A part of you wants love and relationship. You want to experience romance and connection with a man who loves you BUT another part doesn't want to get hurt and be emotionally pressured.
You could find sozens of examples like these ones.
The point is that when you engage in the dating or relationship world, you are always between two types of forces that move you in opposite directions.