Friday, October 29, 2010

Relationship sabotage - Committed/Non-committed dilemma - NOTE

What about the committed/non-committed dilemma?

Different people have different needs.

There isn't a single relationship model that works for everyone.

What matters is to find out THE relationship model that works for you and saying YES to that.

I see different people being very happy with various relationships models.

Many different models work and there is ONE ideal model that works for you.

The best way to find out what relationship model works for you is to experiment, try them all and find out in which one you feel the happiest.

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Who thrives in a committed relationship model?

Who thrives in a non-committed relationship model?

See the difference?

The fact that some people are happily married doesn't mean that you should too!

The fact that your best friend has multiple sex partners doesn't mean that this is what you should be doing either.

You CAN design your ideal relationship model according to what you need EXACTLY.

Once you have that model in mind, it's good to test it with some reality checks to see if it is sustainable and can REALLY work.

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The big challenge with testing relationships models is that testing takes time.

When you get married the first time, you might put all your energy in it to make it work and realize 3 years later that marriage doesn't suit you.

You didn't know it because you never tried before.

Sure, with some new skills, will power, effort and focus, you might eventually be able to make ANYTHING work.

But if you see another model that is way easier and fulfilling for you, why not embody that one.

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Test every model in depth before you give up on it!

Why? Because each relationship model has its own set of challenges.

Each model requires a given set of skills.

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If you look into this deeper, one of the reasons why you might self sabotage your relationships or love is because the model you try to manifet doesn't really suit you.

You know there is another way of relating but you simply don't want to or don't know how to embrace it.