Monday, January 18, 2010

My partner is systematically late or doesn’t even show up! - ARTICLE

Agreements can be anything. It can be appointments or promises.

A marriage is as well another form of agreement.

Most "moral" contracts in relationships are not written. Many of these moral contracts are about respecting your partner.

Suppose that your partner regularly stands you up when you are supposed to meet. Suppose they show up late or not at all.

They might have a valid excuse or simply forget.

This can be a big source of pressure and fights in your relationship.

If this is the case, I know exactly how you feel.

It naturally irritates you because your time and energy are precious.

If you feel trapped in this type of pattern, what can you?

· Educate them

You take a special moment to tell him how his behavior makes you feel. Ask him if he finds this normal or if it is a behavior he would rather change. Ideally, do this within a “forum space”. Try this strategy first.

· Be more flexible

Keep things open. Organize your evening around activities which do not require a fixed schedule. For instance, if you know your friends usually meet in a cafe on Saturday night, keep it open, you might be there, you might not. The idea is to ad freedom and space to your time frame.

· Stop making appointments with them

If you tried dialogue and nothing changes, protect your time by no longer scheduling appointments with them. What’s the point of scheduling a time if you are the only one who respects it?