Monday, January 18, 2010

My partner harasses me with endless demands - ARTICLE

Sometimes, your partner harasses you emotionally with permanent demands and personal insecurities.

This is usually related with a power gap in them. They try to extend their sphere of control over your life, actions, time frame, personal space and behaviors.

If this is an ongoing pattern, it is not a good sign.

Your goal is to establish clear boundaries and make sure they respect your space.

Be firm, repeat the message and use your fighting skills. Make sure that you stay master of what is yours.

It is essential that you feel secure and at peace in your own house.

If you have a partner in your house who is systematically trying to initiate fights, it creates a situation of high instability.

You can have clear boundaries and don't let them cross them.

Don't respond to their invitation to fight.

You can say something like:

"Look, why don't we have a chat about this on Thursday evening. I sure want to hear what you have to say but now I have to get back to work. It's not a good time"

Then go on with establishing dialogue and finding out what they truly want.

If you tried dialogue already and their attitude is still draining you, it might be time to have separate flats.

Your personal space should be secured. You should feel safe in it and not have to watch your back all the time.

This type of "permanent threat" can be draining for you. It is your right to protect your personal space. If you have to, move out or kick them out.