Saturday, January 16, 2010

I had all these dreams – Now I feel limited in my relationship! - ARTICLE

The need to keep evolving and changing is a very natural one.

When you build a relationship, you tend to focus a lot on long term security.

You surround yourself with activities and mind sets which say one thing: "I want stability, both material and emotional".

Why is that? Because you want your relationship's territory to feel safe and secured.

Now, this can conflict with another natural need in you: your need for change and evolution.

Renewal and fresh energy are essential.

The truth is that you can create a level of security which is so high that new energy simply stops flowing in your existence.

It is like living in a castle with thick walls where you can hardly breathe.

When you decide to invite change and renewal in your relationship, you call upon fresh energies.

To make it work, you need to take conscious action and start shifting things around to create space for the new.

The first step is to free energy.

If the walls are too thick, you want to create new openings.

What are these openings?

They are life style shifts, new activities, changes of direction, new connections, new life targets, new goals, new skills, new ways of relating to your partner, new challenges, risk taking, stretching your natural limits and so much more.

The key word is action.

Change is not a thought.

It is a clear action channel.

It is a stream of inspiration which requires, focus, energy and follow up.

Now, you need to find exciting targets which have truly value for you.

Simply taking a new hobby is usually not enough.

You want to go deeper than that.

You want to check your values and the role you play in other people's lives. You might want to give your career a boost or energize your body for instance.

You might take off on a trip with some friends or decide to get rid of old draining connections.

The way to go is to start looking at yourself as your life’s architect.

Once you have a clear vision of the new qualities you want to have in your life, you start actively manifesting them.

This does not happen overnight.

Don't expect it to be simply an easy ride: if you have been living with a specific mind set (quest for security) for many years, it might take a few weeks to redefine your life's targets and give yourself the tools to achieve what you want.

What are these tools?

They are greater awareness of yourself and the way you stand in life, new life skills, new ways of relating to others, yourself or your environment, new life style attitudes and so much more.

This is a path of personal evolution.

You can tap as well in more profound (spiritual) aspects of your being if you are open for it.

This might be a "soul searching" period where you question and reassess what you want for your future.

Dare to take the time to question what you want and where you want to be 5 years from now.

What are you thrilled about?

What would make the coming year your most incredible life experience so far?

The first step is to gain clarity and vision of what you want. After that, you want to give yourself the tools and the power to break through whatever might limit you right now.

You do this by shifting priorities: YOU FIRST!

It is okay to be selfish and think about yourself first.

I know that the idea of self sacrifice as a mother or partner is profoundly embedded in society.

You feel pressured to give to others without ever thinking about yourself.

This is the key mind shift you can achieve right now.

Respect yourself.

Respect your needs.

Feed your being with whatever it needs right now.

You know that you deserve it and it is your right to take it now.

You first!

Trust your instinct and go for it!