The next step is to use your power wisely.
You have no right to control your partner’s thoughts beliefs or actions. They belong to him and he was born with a sense of self determination.
So are you!
If your partner tells you over and over what to do without ever trusting or believing in you, you’ll naturally end up frustrated and drained, right?
It works both ways.
This is the number one mistake partners do in relationships: trying to control their spouse’s actions, thoughts, emotions and time frames.
How to solve this?
It is very simple:
Use your power to control only what is yours
You have the right to control your actions, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, time, frame, personal space and belongings.
These are yours!
You are given the birth right to own all of these.
Now, you can never own someone else’s life!
The moment you understand and express this fully, 80% of your relationship’s challenges are instantly transmuted into space and harmony.
Why is that?
Because the moment you stop trying to control your partner’s life, you set him free.
In other terms, you trust him and empower him.
What will be the result?
Will he run away from your relationship as soon as he is free?
Of course not!
Love is the core of what you share.
This is what lives in the intimacy of your two beings.
Dare to give it a try and see what happens.
Stop telling him in any way what to do or what not to do.
Now, I am not saying this is easy! J
Letting go of control over each other is like stepping on a bridge made purely of trust and love.
You trust your partner and the spirit of what you share.
Now, that’s empowering for both of you!
This simple mind shift can get rid of most relationship fights.
Relationship fight are always control issues in disguise.
When you fight, feel tension or feel blockages in your relationship, it is always the result of power struggles.
Basically, you fight for control.
Where to start?
Stop fighting over house hold issue or wanting to have things your way.
Let go and trust!
Power is not the ability to control other people’s lives. This is already a deviation or misuse of power.
No, power is first the ability to take control of your own life.
It is a shift and it does take a few weeks of focus to truly master this mind set.
Now, if you do… Whaou!!!
You won’t believe what can actually happen in your relationship.
· First - Your partner will respond by doing the same: he will set you free!
· Second - You will instantly get a whole lot of new free energy! Trying to control someone else’s life takes so much effort!!! Imagine what happens when you simply let go.
· Third - You will instantly connect with the new “spirit” of your relationship and multiply the level of love, respect, trust and harmony in your relationship.
· Fourth - You and your partner will be much happier!
Talk about win-win for you and everyone involved!!!
This is only a fraction of the benefits of using power and control differently in your relationship.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I am convinced that you probably already apply at least some that.
Maybe you are even very good at setting your partner free and giving him space.
Maybe, it is him who systematically limits you.
I am giving this example and maybe it does not apply to your unique situation. I don’t know, we haven’t met.
I give this example simply to give you a picture of the dynamics involved and what to do to shift them around.
Once you understand how power dynamics work, you can start playing with these energies consciously and clear areas of tension by taking conscious action and shifting key attitudes.