Wednesday, May 6, 2009

More keys for dynamic relationships - ARTICLE

  • Protect and respect the relationships space

This means you are the ones who decide, choose... You are the masters of that space...Pin point external influences and see if you are not going too far in tolerating those influences...

  • Children
Be open and respectful about "children issues".


  • Never use force, control or will power against your partner
Instead use dialogue... Always propose options, alternatives, be open.

  • Learn to fight with each other!
Make it a play, a game.


  • Listen to the saturation limit.
Every individual, couple has a natural saturation threshold. It's the limit between "okay" and "too much". It's the moment when you loose yourself, your individuality. Be aware of that threshold in someone else and respect it.

If you are on the process of building something, let it grow naturally. Slightly push forward every now and then to feel if the limit is movable.

This point has to do with balance between individual and couple space. Be subtle with it. Respect the natural limits.

This natural threshold will usually be a "limit" to the relationship's expansion. It is dictated by an individual boundary. This individual boundary represents an inner protection. It defines an inner space.

  • Don't be rigid on boundaries
Be aware that sometimes it is time for them to be shifted or moved. But always respect the other person's space. Be gentle and kind on that. Do not claim or demand.

  • Create complicity
This happens by sharing anecdotes, physical contact, teasing, etc. Eye contact in social situations, awareness of the other persons thoughts, feelings, desires, etc.

  • Invite change in the relationship
We, as individuals need to keep evolving. The relationship has to be open for change and evolution. The forces of conflict are often related with resisting change. Become "change conductive" and you'll realize how refreshing this feels.

  • May your individuality strengthen your love
Love means giving space and validation to your individuality. Never suppress what makes you special. May the relationship be a space in which individual integrity can be protected and stimulated.

  • A mature relationship allows differences of opinion
Agreeing on everything simply takes the relationship's spices away. The fertility and freshness of the mind is stimulated by differences. Daring to accept differences of opinion is accepting our own intimate humanity. Sometimes, there is simply more than one single answer...